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Alone (but Together) - Our First Tween Book Club

Books have a way of bringing people together. This past Saturday, we held our first book club meeting at our home. It was so nice to watch the girls interact and have deep discussions, without the inevitable crash that always followed other activities. As an autistic homeschooler with neurodiverse kids, it's been hard to find social activities that don't drain them. This book club was just that, though -- a purely social activity that wasn't overwhelming or overstimulating, and didn't really in any meltdowns, shutdowns, or social migraines.

I started the book club because my kids really needed some social activities that weren't draining, and needed a chance to make some deeper friendships. I posted in our homeschool group, asking if there was any interest in a book club where there's no lesson attached and no games/crafts/etc associated with the meeting. Literally just a bunch of girls ages 10-14 getting together and talking about a book. I was so happy to find that there was a lot of interest! I really wanted to create a safe space environment where the girls, who are at that age right between childhood and becoming young adults, could read some more mature themes in literature and be able to discuss whatever thoughts they had about it. We had ten girls attend the first meeting and my living room was packed. (I'll have another post at some point about how I got the place clean enough to hold this meeting!) We set out a fruit platter, some baked goods, butter tarts, cookies, and juice. The girls ate it all! 

The girls all seemed a bit nervous walking in but they quickly broke the ice with each other after a quick game of Would You Rather, and we started talking about the book club logistics and then the book of the month. The book we read for August was Alone by Megan E. Freeman. It's about a 12-year-old girl named Maddie, who manages to get left behind while her whole town evacuates. The story is told in verse and describes what she went through while she was alone - how she survived, her thoughts, fears, and worries. The girls had a lot to discuss about the book and we added the sequel, Away, to our master book list, so it will be a future book club read.

The girls had differing opinions about the use of poetry to tell the story. Most of the girls really liked it but a few didn't. As the host/moderator, I tried very hard to not offer my own opinion, and to not agree or disagree. I simply said I understood the girls' points and made sure everyone got a chance to share their opinion. The girls dominated the conversation and I supplied discussion questions when they started to run out of things to say. I was really impressed that the girls came up with their own questions as well! One girl said she liked how Maddie found a dog to keep as a companion, and she asked the others if they thought she chose a dog on purpose.

We used a random number generator to draw two books from our master list to vote on for September, and then did the same again for October. We decided to choose two months' worth of books so that it would be less stressful to try to find the books on time. It was a close vote for September but A Long Way Home by Saroo Brierly won. I'm more than a little nervous because that book is quite a heavy read, but the girls wanted to read it. The alternative book was Amal Unbound which lost by one vote. The book we chose for October is We Are Big Time by Hena Khan, which beat Once Upon an Eid by a landslide.

One thing I will change for next month is allowing more time to just sit and chat at the end of the meeting. This meeting ended with about five minutes of chatting time before parents came back to pick up their kids. Next time I'll aim for 15 minutes, because the girls seemed to hit it off! My daughters have been having a hard time finding kids to "hit it off" with without crashing from all the noise and overstimulation afterward, but this gathering was perfect! The girls are all bookworms and not very loud, many of them enjoy the same types of books as my daughters, and some of them even play video games! I particularly enjoyed running the book club because I didn't have a lot of mental prep to do, and I didn't feel like I had to play a role or perform to keep the kids engaged -- I felt like I could be my authentic self and I found that so refreshing. I think that's the main reason I didn't get a migraine after the book club, as I usually do after homeschool workshops or events.

I'm already looking forward to the next book club and I hope this club continues for at least the school year.
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